just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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