you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
