it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize