at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
