3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
