I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize