I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
