batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I will pee on everything he values.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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