Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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