The maid of honor just puked.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
