I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
