just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
