weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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