genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
