The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
