I wannas sexs uuuuu
That's when you crack a 10am beer
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize