Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
