Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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