I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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