Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
