don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize