i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
