I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i dont even know how to be here
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
