If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
