I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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