Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
whose parrot is this?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
