NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
