Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
