I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize