The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
