i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
