so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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