just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
