Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize