in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Me. At least after what I've been through.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
