I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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