K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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