hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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