I want to have your abortion
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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