Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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