dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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