i permit you to call me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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