During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
