next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize