do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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