just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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