jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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