It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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