Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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