fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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