I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
