we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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