is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
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