I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Less talking, more tequila
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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