I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
