Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
