You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
