it wasn't lemon gatorade
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
