Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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