What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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