So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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