will power is for people who don't want to get laid
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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