that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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